The above photo is one of many my son, Jesse Crossman, has taken. He has the eye and heart of a lover of nature and all things beautiful. I am honored to share the photo, as I am to share him with the world. I am honored to be the mother of children who pay deep attention to this sacred and special world and time. There is much grief, loss, and sadness to hold, yet if our moments can also be touched by one another, we can know we aren't alone; together, the weight of all things can be lifted toward the light. xo

 

October 2023 

October arrived in many ways : Tears in unexpected places at unexpected times
: There were holes in the morning glories : The window screens, and my heart

Not one thing caused any of these incidents: It was a season of too much
: Heat and hatred, death and dying, angst and anger, rain and rage

What do we call it now : Autumn, the letting go, the dead leaves underfoot 
: The knowing, the laying down of darkness, the silent way it arrives

Hold tight dear heart : Courage is within
xo

 

November 2023

Sometimes, the only thing bigger than a sky 
is the moment we remember it's there;
holding space, ever-changing, always shifting.

***

There was a time: Most of my life

I considered the sky to be blue, grey, or dark

but dark meant sleep, and grey meant sad,

and blue was a Crayola crayon. 

Blue was ocean, river, morning 

then my firstborn's eyes 

and that's when the sky flew open

and I knew I'd never be able 

to see it how it had once been.

xo

 

August 2023

Tomorrow is Dad's Birth Day 

he isn't here to celebrate

so many times and places 

I miss him; he's in my bones

I know little of cellular invasion

the parts of me I shared with Mom

I know more about DNA and fusion

but still so very little, tiny like 

the start of me, Dad playing his part

the joining of bodies and the magic

that made me whole, hopefully

But still, Dad is missed

xo

 July 2023

it's hot and humid

there are smells leftover from the dogs who died years ago

the towels are damp, and it's hard to pull on a pair of jeans

but we say it was a long winter and carry-on, and marvel

at trees laden with fat, bright leaves, the rain only knocking

the blossoms and the bees as they waddle in the sweetness

it's hot and humid

and I do not like it

xo

 JUNE 2023

beauties and beasts of humidity 

my hair and nails curl and break

the dog can not get enough water

I can not get enough breath or air

 and still, we waited for the arrival

and so we speak about other times

 the bluebird skies of early winters

the day he was buried in the snow

xo

 

 

May 2023

 

And here it is, May Day.

Soon to be Mother's Day.

A time to show the earth's abundance 

in flowers and still, the skies pale & thin.

Shadows lay down in this same vein;

 the vanity of being adored and celebrated

and they, too, will be cut; they will turn 

themselves inside out to show you love

and to remind us everything has a season. 

xo